call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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