so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
