she woke up with a sticky ear
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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