My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
