we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
