We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
