It's just like the Real World with babies
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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