Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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