did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
