my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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