I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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