Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
