He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
