exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
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There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
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just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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