You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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