Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
