I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Your tits are I can't wait for
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just found puke in my bra..
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
