I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
