I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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