Don't you send me to vm
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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