we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
there was a trapeze. enough said
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
