You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
