Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
