There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Randomize
