You made me cry and you don't even care
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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