the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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