what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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