did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
