i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
