Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
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