I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
