Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
