You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
