i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize