Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
