Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
