idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
