Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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