It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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