god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
