Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
