But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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