We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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