then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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