My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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