so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
