Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
