As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
