How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm getting married
To pizza
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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