can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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