Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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