Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
