come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He kissed a someone with a penis
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
