i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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