I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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