i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
