New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
