Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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