the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
