He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You can't just leave with hair like that
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
