I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
