no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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