i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
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I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
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I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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