just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
