I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
