Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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