i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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